Before You Pack For College, Read This

Congratulations!  You’ve made it all the way through high school.  You applied to many colleges (or just your favorite), got into at least one, and are headed off to college very soon.

Here’s my best advice for you to get ready for the big move:

1.  GET A SHOT!  I can’t say it loudly enough.  Get a meningitis shot.  The old ones lasted 5 years.  They now have vaccines that last 10 years.  If you’re not sure if you’ve had one, call your doctor and ask.  Hardly anyone gets meningitis, but it’s often fatal if you do.  Why take a chance?  One girl did — read about it here.

 Please, please don’t put it off.  Make an appointment now because they sometimes run out of vaccine.

2.  Start saving Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons.  They come in the mail.  Save them.  The store doesn’t mind your using expired coupons.  Bed, Bath, and Beyond has a good selection of college stuff starting early in August.  Marsha, a wise friend of mine, gave me the following advice and she was right:  Buy everything you think you might possibly need, but don’t open it until you get to college.  If you don’t need it in your particular dorm room, your parents can always take it back to the store and return it if they keep the receipt.

3.  Start making a backpack of all the stuff you’ll need the minute you arrive at college:

• duct tape
• masking tape
• extension cords (at least one with surge protector)
• hammer
• screw driver (flat and phillips)
• flash light
• sharpie marker (there will be something you forgot to label or that your roommate has the exact same one of)
• small notepad and pen

There’s lots more stuff you will need, but these are things you might need right away to put your room in order and will certainly get lost if you pack them with the other junk.

4.  Get a new laptop.  If yours is more than 4 or 5 years old, you might want a new one.  You probably won’t need a printer (they’re handy but take up precious desktop room and every school has convenient places to print out papers), but you will need a laptop to bring to class, to submit assignments, and to drag to the library or to a friend’s dorm room for a group project.

5.  Ask what cell phone carrier works best at your school.  I know from my son that if you don’t have Verizon at Cornell, you don’t have reception.  If you know someone at the school you’ll be going to, ask about who’s got the best reception.  If you don’t know anyone there, find a facebook group of last year’s freshmen and ask them.  While you’re at it, try to get your parents to pay for unlimited text messages.  You’ll need it!

6.  Expect to feel out of place for a little while.  I have to confess — I cried through most of my freshman year.  I didn’t want to live home again, I just wanted my life the way it was back in high school with all my comfortable friends, with clean clothes that appeared regularly in my room, with free food in the fridge.  I thought everyone else was having a blast, and I was the only one feeling sad, lonely, uncomfortable, sick of hearing my roommate’s music.  I saw everyone’s happy faces going to class and I felt even more alone.  Little did I know that many of them were smiling on the outside and feeling exactly the same as I did on the inside.  I think if I knew that – and if I knew then how certainly this feeling would pass by springtime – I wouldn’t have felt quite so confused.  So I’m telling you now:  It’s not only okay to feel disassociated your first few months at college, it’s normal.  Really.

7.  Don’t forget who you are.  This article states it best:  don’t forget your goals, your abilities, your family, your values, or yourself.  Eat right at least several times a week.  Call home now and then.  Warn your parents in advance if you are dying your hair purple or shaving it off so they won’t faint when you come home for Columbus weekend or Thanksgiving.  Don’t ride the wave of good times and parties if you haven’t started that paper that’s due next month.

The key to success in college is to embrace the adult in you.  Plan out your schoolwork so you’ll have time for work and time for relaxation.  And asking for academic advice doesn’t mean that you’re letting someone tell you what to do — it just means gathering others’ expertise before you make a decision.

I hope I haven’t made you too nervous.  I just want you to be as prepared as you can be.  Keep in touch with your old friends, your family — and me!

Wendy Segal

http://www.wendysegaltutoring.com

 

Top Mistakes College Freshman Make – Save for September

I’ve made some of these mistakes.  People I know have made others.  Try to avoid as many of these as you can when you start college.

Mistake:  Not checking out where your classes are. When you choose classes, keep a map of your campus handy.  Try to avoid classes on opposite ends of campus on the same day.

Bigger mistake:  Not checking out where your classes are once you’ve signed up. Before the first day of class, do a test run like you did before you entered high school.  Walk the route.  Check where each classroom is.  You don’t want to show up late the first day.  Some buildings have wonky classroom numbering systems, so do the test run BEFORE the first day.

Mistake:  Choosing classes by what people in your dorm suggest. What do they know?  Even if someone you know took that class before, it may not be right for you.  Hey, maybe they prefer papers to tests and you don’t.  Maybe a class is just right for their major but not yours.

Mistake:  Choosing classes by what the course catalogue suggests. They’re not always accurate.  Professors change at the last minute.  You might want to take a look at http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/ .  If there are two sections of a lab or discussion group, this website might just help you pick a winner.  People love to complain, but it’s better than flipping a coin or choosing based on which section is later in the day.

Bigger mistake:  Not conferring with an advisor. This was my biggest mistake in college.  I chose courses based on what sounded good instead of what I needed to get into grad school.  So find an advisor and get his or her advice.  You don’t have to follow it, but you should know what your advisor has to say.

Mistake:  Not joining a club right away. You might presume that you need a bit of time to settle in.  Wrong.  If you wait too long, people will have joined clubs, assigned roles, made friends – and you’ll be out of the loop.  Join whichever clubs or groups seem like they might be even somewhat interesting.  You can always drop out if they’re not what you expected, but it’s harder to drop in once everyone has formed a clique.

Mistake:  Limiting yourself to one group of friends. I’m especially talking to girls here.  Girls can be passionate, loyal friends – or girls can be catty and mean.  If you don’t develop a few interests, join a few clubs, participate in some activity you enjoyed in high school (band, sports, community service), you’re relying too much on one group of kids.  If they all get housing together next year and leave you out, you’ll feel bereft.  Have more than one group of friends.  Trust me.

Mistake:  Not getting to know at least a couple of professors. You might not get to know any professors as a freshman.  But by sophomore year, you should be getting to know a professor or two.  They can be really helpful in planning classes, getting an internship, writing a recommendation for graduate school or a job.  Make friends by dropping by a professor’s office during office hours to discuss something you found interesting in class or something you didn’t understand.  Make friends by emailing questions to a professor.  If your school encourages students and professors to share a meal, do that.  Don’t be shy – if they didn’t like students, they wouldn’t be teaching.

Mistake:  Not keeping your parents informed. If things are going badly, tell your parents.  No one wants you to succeed as much as they do.  They might just have an idea that could help.  If things get worse and you’ve kept them in the loop, they won’t be shocked and angry.  They may be able to intercede for you.  If things are going well, tell them.  They’ve worked very hard to get you where you are now.  Let them have a little pride in your accomplishments.  It’s a gracious way to say thanks.

Mistake:  Not telling me how you’re doing. I’m able to help kids create a list of colleges they’d fit into because older kids let me know about how their schools are, what’s good and bad about them, whether they made a good choice.  Knowing how you’re doing helps me to help high school kids.  So if we’ve worked together, please do keep in touch.  Sometimes kids need to or want to change schools.  Let me know why you’re changing.

To those of you in college now and to those of you who’ve graduated recently or long ago: what are some of YOUR college mistakes? I’d love to help others avoid them, so add a comment to this blog and let me know.

 

Wendy Segal

http://www.wendysegaltutoring.com

Don’t Forget This Advice As You Head Off To College

Congratulations!  You’ve made it all the way through high school.  You applied to many colleges (or just your favorite), got into at least one, and are headed off to college at the end of August.

Here’s my best advice for you to get ready for the big move:

1.  GET A SHOT!  I can’t say it loudly enough.  Get a meningitis shot.  The old ones lasted 5 years.  They now have vaccines that last 10 years.  If you’re not sure if you’ve had one, ask your doctor – or just get another one.  Hardly anyone gets meningitis, but it’s often fatal if you do.  Why take a chance?  One girl did — read about it here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20519953/

Please, please don’t put it off.  Make an appointment now because they sometimes run out of vaccine.

2.  Start saving Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons.  They come in the mail.  Save them.  The store doesn’t mind your using expired coupons.  Bed, Bath, and Beyond has a good selection of college stuff starting early in August.  Marsha, a wise friend of mine, gave me the following advice and she was right:  Buy everything you think you might possibly need, but don’t open it until you get to college.  If you don’t need it in your particular dorm room, your parents can always take it back to the store and return it if they keep the receipt.

3.  Start making a backpack of all the stuff you’ll need the minute you arrive at college:

• duct tape
• masking tape
• extension cords (at least one with surge protector)
• hammer
• screw driver (flat and phillips)
• flash light
• sharpie marker (there will be something you forgot to label or that your roommate has the exact same one of)
• small notepad and pen

There’s lots more stuff you will need, but these are things you might need right away to put your room in order and will certainly get lost if you pack them with the other junk.

4.  Get a new laptop.  If yours is more than 4 or 5 years old, you might want a new one.  You probably won’t need a printer (they’re handy but take up precious desktop room and every school has convenient places to print out papers), but you will need a laptop to bring to class, to submit assignments, and to drag to the library or to a friend’s dorm room for a group project.

5.  Ask what cell phone carrier works best at your school.  I know from my son that if you don’t have Verizon at Cornell, you don’t have reception.  If you know someone at the school you’ll be going to, ask about who’s got the best reception.  If you don’t know anyone there, find a facebook group of last year’s freshmen and ask them.  While you’re at it, try to get your parents to pay for unlimited text messages.  You’ll need it!

6.  Expect to feel out of place for a little while.  I have to confess — I cried through most of my freshman year.  I didn’t want to live home again, I just wanted my life the way it was back in high school with all my comfortable friends, with clean clothes that appeared regularly in my room, with free food in the fridge.  I thought everyone else was having a blast, and I was the only one feeling sad, lonely, uncomfortable, sick of hearing my roommate’s music.  I saw everyone’s happy faces going to class and I felt even more alone.  Little did I know that many of them were smiling on the outside and feeling exactly the same as I did on the inside.  I think if I knew that – and if I knew then how certainly this feeling would pass by springtime – I wouldn’t have felt quite so confused.  So I’m telling you now:  It’s not only okay to feel disassociated your first few months at college, it’s normal.  Really.

I hope I haven’t made you too nervous.  I just want you to be as prepared as you can be.  Keep in touch with your old friends, your family — and me!

Wendy Segal

http://www.wendysegaltutoring.com

Should You List a College Major On Your Application – And How to Decide Which Major is Right for You

For some reason, I’ve had this discussion lately with a lot of adults.  What should kids major in?  What shouldn’t kids major in?  What majors lead to good jobs?  Which majors lead to working at McDonald’s?

I guess I’m not the only one discussing college majors.  Recently, I’ve read several articles listing top careers (where high-paying  jobs are available) and poor career choices (where there are no jobs available and they don’t pay well even if you could get one).

This article from TIME magazine lists 10 best- and worst-paid college majors.  If you click on each major, you will be brought to an article describing the major, common jobs with that major, and average salaries for new employees in that field.

This blog article, “The Most Useless College Majors” agrees.

Science wins.  Journalism loses.

But what about “undecided”?  Should you list a potential major on your college application if you’re not sure?

Sometimes, you have to list a major.  Some majors are housed in their own “schools.” Engineering, for example, often has a discrete faculty, carefully plotted courses, and a fixed number of students.  If you want to be an engineer, you have to let them know.  It’s nearly impossible to transfer into engineering even within the same university.  It’s easy – even common – to transfer out of engineering into math or physics or chemistry or even political science or philosophy, but you can’t go the other way.

If you are choosing an unusual major for that university, definitely list it on applications. If the college has a small physics department and you think you might want to study physics, that might give you the edge that you need to get into an otherwise extremely selective school.

Schools not only want to balance out the number of students in each major, they need to balance the gender in all majors.  Few girls want to go into a major where there are NO boys.  If you are a boy who wants to study English or women’s studies, list that major.  If you are a girl who wants to be an engineer or mathematician or sports therapist, list that major.

If, after reading the above articles warning against it, you still insist on majoring in journalism or psychology, don’t list that major.  Most schools have swollen communications and psychology departments.  If you list that as your major, you’ll be competing against more students than if you just checked off “undecided.”

But what if you have no idea what you want to major in?

Come talk to me.  I hope it doesn’t sound immodest, but I have a knack for suggesting majors to kids that they really like and perhaps hadn’t thought of.

Here are some questions I’ll ask if you want my help choosing a major:

• What do you and your friends do with free time?
• What does your bedroom look like?
• Do you like group projects in school or do you prefer to work alone?
• Would you rather write a paper or do a project?
• If you had to waste half an hour at a store while your mom shopped elsewhere, where would you tell her to take you?

Or you could read an article like this one that helps you to identify a college major and subsequent career based on your academic and social interests.

Most colleges don’t require you to confirm your major until the end of your sophomore year in college, so putting a major on your college application won’t prevent you from exploring.

The best advice I’ve ever read about finding a major, finding a career, finding a passion is this one .  It’s rather long, but I find myself nodding my head at every paragraph.

Now get started on those college applications.  Let me know if you need help.

UPDATE:  Take a look at this interesting article from Inside Higher Ed, a newletter for college teachers/professors about choosing a major, about the range of salaries and how “women’s” careers are still the lowest paying.

Wendy Segal

What’s Up With Psychology?

Okay, I give up.  What’s up with psychology?

About 15 years ago, nearly every student I had, especially the guys, wanted to go into “business.” When I asked them what business meant or what they liked about business, they shrugged.  As long as they got to carry a briefcase and make lots of money, they were going to major in business in college.

Then it became Elementary Education.  Every girl student and half of the boys wanted to go into elementary education.  “Does that include fifth grade?” I asked.  “Oh, no, I’d only want to teach kindergarten or first grade because those kids are so cute!”  I had a feeling that these students felt fairly sure they knew at least as much as a first grader but weren’t at all sure they knew as much as a fifth grader.  And that was well before the quiz show!

Then it was Sports Management.  Everyone, male and female, wanted to go into Sports Management.  If all my students who wanted to major in sports management actually became sports managers, there would be more sports managers than athletes.

And it’s that way now with psychology. If all the students I have who are interested in majoring in psychology become psychologists, there will be WAY more psychologists than crazy people.  I recently met an old neighborhood friend I hadn’t seen in 30 years.  He told me he had a daughter who was going into her senior year of high school.  I couldn’t resist saying, “What does she want to major in — is it perhaps PSYCHOLOGY?”  Yup, it was.  In the same day, I had a two new students start working with me on SAT tutoring.  One was an A student taking mostly AP and honors classes.  The other was a B student (when she tried hard) with no honors classes.  Guess what BOTH of them wanted to major in?

Do you guys know that to do anything in the field of psychology you need at least a master’s degree — and that’s only to do the most grueling work.  To psychoanalyze anyone, you need a doctorate degree.  Are you ready to go to school for the next eight years?  Can you afford to?

Did you know that you’ll be studying the brain and the eye for at least a year or two before you ever get to find out why your mother treats you like a baby or why your roommate is nuts?  Were you especially good in biology in high school?

And did you know that psychologists don’t particularly like what they do?  Check out this article that lists professions by how satisfied the practitioners of that field actually are.

To pick a major, start off by considering which high school classes you liked.  Now think about which ones you did well in.  Ask your guidance counselor and some adults you trust which careers would make best use of your academic strengths.

Now think about what you like to do with your free time.  Do you prefer to be alone?  Do you have a million best friends?   Do you dread group projects?  Do you feel most comfortable with a small group of old friends or do you like to meet new people?  Do you like to talk more than write?  Would you rather read than play sports (yes, some people do!)?  Do you love to shop?  Do you have notebooks full of magazine articles or hairdos?  Do you want to be in a competitive field or do you only want to work hard enough to provide a roof, a car, and some beer?

Ask people about what they do, what they like about it, how they got their first jobs, how they got the job they’re in now.  Ask your parents, their friends, your relatives, your guidance counselors, your friends’ older brothers and sisters.  Ask me.  Ask people about what careers they thought they’d like when they were in school and why they did or didn’t pursue those careers.  Poke around websites like www.princetonreview.com – they have a little quiz about your interests and what careers might fit and they have descriptions of tons of careers you never even heard of.

Whatever you decide, please rethink majoring in psychology. If you insist that you were born to major in psychology, consider applying “undecided” so you’re not just one of the crowd.

Wendy Segal

My Best Advice Before You Pack For College

Congratulations! You’ve made it all the way through high school.  You applied to many colleges (or just your favorite), got into at least one, and are headed off to college at the end of August.

Here’s my best advice for you to get ready for the big move:

1.  GET A SHOT! I can’t say it loudly enough.  Get a meningitis shot.  The old ones lasted 5 years.  They now have vaccines that last 10 years.  If you’re not sure if you’ve had one, ask your doctor – or just get another one.  Hardly anyone gets meningitis, but it’s usually fatal if you do.  Why take a chance?  One girl did — read about it here.  Please, please don’t put it off.  Make an appointment now because they sometimes run out of vaccine.

2.  Start saving Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons.  They come in the mail.  Save them.  The store doesn’t mind your using expired coupons.  Bed, Bath, and Beyond has a good selection of college stuff starting early in August.  Marsha, a wise friend of mine, gave me this advice and she was right:  Buy everything you think you might possibly need, but don’t open it until you get to college.  If you don’t need it in your particular dorm room, your parents can always take it back to the store and return it if they keep the receipt.  They even have a system where you can pick out stuff in your local store and pick up those items at the store near your college!

3.  Start making a backpack of all the stuff you’ll need the minute you arrive at college:

• duct tape
• masking tape
• extension cords (at least one with surge protector)
• hammer
• screw driver (flat and phillips)
• flash light
• sharpie marker (there will be something you forgot to label or that your roommate has the exact same one of)
• small notepad and pen

There’s lots more stuff you will need, but these are things you might need right away to put your room in order and will certainly get lost if you pack them with the other junk.

4.  Get a new laptop.  If yours is more than 4 or 5 years old, you might want a new one.  You probably won’t need a printer (they’re handy but take up precious desktop room and every school has convenient places to print out papers), but you will need a laptop to bring to class, to submit assignments, and to drag to the library or to a friend’s dorm room for a group project.

5.  Ask what cell phone carrier works best at your school.  I know from my son that if you don’t have Verizon at Cornell, you don’t have reception.  If you know someone at the school you’ll be going to, ask about who’s got the best reception.  If you don’t know anyone there, find a facebook group of last year’s freshmen and ask them.  While you’re at it, try to get your parents to pay for unlimited text messages.  You’ll need it!

6.  Make a communications plan with your parents.  Your parents may secretly be hoping you’ll call every day.  You may be expecting to call them every few weeks. If you start off calling them every day and then don’t call for a few weeks, they’re going to be disappointed.  Your leaving will be as big a life change for your parents as it will be for you, so if you want to help them out, have a discussion with them about expectations before you go.  And don’t forget to call your grandparents from college from time to time!

7.  Expect to feel out of place for a little while. I have to confess — I cried through most of my freshman year.  I didn’t want to live home again, I just wanted my life the way it was back in high school with all my comfortable friends, with clean clothes that appeared regularly in my room, with free food in the fridge.  I thought everyone else was having a blast, and I was the only one feeling sad, lonely, uncomfortable, sick of hearing my roommate’s music.  I saw everyone’s happy faces going to class and I felt even more alone.  Little did I know that many of them were smiling on the outside and feeling exactly the same as I did on the inside.  I think if I knew that – and if I knew then that this feeling would pass by springtime – I wouldn’t have felt quite so confused.  So I’m telling you now:  It’s not only okay to feel disassociated your first few months at college, it’s normal. Really.

8. Join the Facebook group for your school’s incoming freshman class. Whether you’re addicted to Facebook or can’t remember the last time you went on, it’s how people connect.  It’s hard enough to feel like you fit in those first few days.  Do yourself a favor and act like you’ve got school spirit even if you’re not so sure you do yet.  While you’re at it, remove anything you wouldn’t want your roommate’s mom to see.  (My son’s freshman roommate, a white suburban kid from Long Island, listed “Rastafarian” as his religion.  I knew there was going to be trouble!)

I hope I haven’t made you too nervous.  I just want you to be as prepared as you can be.  Keep in touch with your old friends, your family — and me!

 

Wendy Segal

Did You Hear? It’s Harder Than Ever to Get into College — and What to Do About It.

The record low acceptance rates of selective colleges this year are all over the news and all over the internet.  Everyone who knows a teenager has heard of kids who have stellar grades, high SATs, many activities, community service, and sparkling personalities who not only didn’t get into their early decision school, they didn’t get into several schools they thought were fairly safe bets.

The Washington Post reports on this year’s admission rates.  The Huffington Post’s article, “Application Rates Up, Acceptance Rates Down” says a lot. The New York Times admissions blog has a chart so you can see how tiny your chance was of getting into your top choice school.

Why am I telling you this?

First of all, if you are currently a college student, you should be grateful that you got in when you did.  Another year or two and you might not have made it to the school you’re in now.  Basically, the incoming freshmen at your school are probably more impressive candidates than you were.  If your parents went to a selective college, chances are they couldn’t get in to that same school now.

Second, if you are a high school senior and you didn’t get into the schools you expected to get into, it’s not your fault.  You’re in extremely good company.  Getting a “we regret to inform you” email (why do all the articles talk about a thin or fat envelope when everyone is notified by email?) doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been a huge success at that dream school.  It certainly doesn’t mean you won’t get a good education.  Those who got into every school they applied to probably didn’t reach high enough for that dream school.

Third, if you are a high school senior and you did get into your dream school, be humble.  Don’t brag, don’t gloat.  It might be that you’re male and they needed more males this year.  It might be that you play the French horn and your friend plays the trombone, and they happen to need French horn players more this year.  Of course you worked hard, but so did most of those who didn’t get in.

But mostly I want to address the high school freshmen, sophomores, and juniors. There ARE things you can do to improve your chance of getting in. It may seem insincere, but if you want to get in, you have to:

• Maintain good grades from freshman year through the middle of senior year. Colleges don’t see quarterly grades, only year-end grades, so if you’re starting to slip – even in 9th grade – reach out for help.  Stay after school to talk to your teacher, study with a friend, ask your parents and guidance counselor for help, hire a tutor.

• Prepare for the SATs. Don’t wait until the end of junior year or -heaven forbid – the beginning of senior year.  Start preparing now.  You don’t need an SAT book or a course.  In fact, the best thing you can do to prepare is pay attention in math class and READ.  Read a magazine, read the newspaper, read a novel – even a trashy one.  Just read. Magazines like TIME and Newsweek are wonderful for vocabulary and reading comprehension.

• Take the right classes. Colleges are concerned with grades for sure, but they care deeply about the rigor of your classes.  That means if the school offers an honors class, take it.  You don’t need to take ALL honors or AP classes, but you should be taking on as much challenge as you can handle.  I encourage students to give the honors class a try.  Warn your guidance counselor that you might need to slip back to the regular level class so he or she can schedule your classes so you can switch to a lower level without disrupting all of your other classes.

• Find a passion and work it. If you like dance, you should be dancing in school productions, you should be dancing in a dance school, you should be volunteering to put on a dance show at your local senior center or nursing home, you should be teaching elementary kids to dance after school.  If you like math, join the math team, tutor lower level students in math, volunteer to help struggling elementary school students in math, teach seniors computer skills for free at a senior center.  Schools are looking for something they call consistency — they want to see you involved on every level in your area of interest.

• Don’t waste your summers. Travelling and camp are fun but they won’t get you into college.  Take some courses.  Many colleges have summer programs where you can live on campus and take college courses for credit.  Volunteer. Work – not at K-Mart, but in your area of interest.

If you got into a good school, congratulations! If you got into any old school, you might just love it.  And if you don’t, you can join the thousands each year who transfer.  If you still have a year or more before you have to worry about college applications, there’s much you can do now to make your college admission quest successful.

Wendy Segal

Biggest Mistakes People Make the First Week of College

I’ve made some of these mistakes.  People I know have made others.  Try to avoid as many of these as you can when you start college.

Mistake:  Not checking out where your classes are. When you choose classes, keep a map of your campus handy.  Try to avoid classes on opposite ends of campus on the same day.

Bigger mistake:  Not checking out where your classes are once you’ve signed up. Before the first day of class, do a test run like you did before you entered high school.  Walk the route.  Check where each classroom is.  You don’t want to show up late the first day.  Some buildings have wonky classroom numbering systems, so do the test run BEFORE the first day.

Mistake:  Choosing classes by what people in your dorm suggest. What do they know?  Even if someone you know took that class before, it may not be right for you.  Hey, maybe they prefer papers to tests and you don’t.  Maybe a class is just right for their major but not yours.

Mistake:  Choosing classes by what the course catalogue suggests. They’re not always accurate.  Professors change at the last minute.  You might want to take a look at http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/ .  If there are two sections of a lab or discussion group, this website might just help you pick a winner.  People love to complain, but it’s better than flipping a coin or choosing based on which section is later in the day.

Bigger mistake:  Not conferring with an advisor. This was my biggest mistake in college.  I chose courses based on what sounded good instead of what I needed to get into grad school.  So find an advisor and get his or her advice.  You don’t have to follow it, but you should know what your advisor has to say.

Mistake:  Not joining a club right away. You might presume that you need a bit of time to settle in.  Wrong.  If you wait too long, people will have joined clubs, assigned roles, made friends – and you’ll be out of the loop.  Join whichever clubs or groups seem like they might be even somewhat interesting.  You can always drop out if they’re not what you expected, but it’s harder to drop in once everyone has formed a clique.

Mistake:  Limiting yourself to one group of friends. I’m especially talking to girls here.  Girls can be passionate, loyal friends – or girls can be catty and mean.  If you don’t develop a few interests, join a few clubs, participate in some activity you enjoyed in high school (band, sports, community service), you’re relying too much on one group of kids.  If they all get housing together next year and leave you out, you’ll feel bereft.  Have more than one group of friends.  Trust me.

Mistake:  Not getting to know at least a couple of professors. You might not get to know any professors as a freshman.  But by sophomore year, you should be getting to know a professor or two.  They can be really helpful in planning classes, getting an internship, writing a recommendation for graduate school or a job.  Make friends by dropping by a professor’s office during office hours to discuss something you found interesting in class or something you didn’t understand.  Make friends by emailing questions to a professor.  If your school encourages students and professors to share a meal, do that.  Don’t be shy – if they didn’t like students, they wouldn’t be teaching.

Mistake:  Not keeping your parents informed. If things are going badly, tell your parents.  No one wants you to succeed as much as they do.  They might just have an idea that could help.  If things get worse and you’ve kept them in the loop, they won’t be shocked and angry.  They may be able to intercede for you.  If things are going well, tell them.  They’ve worked very hard to get you where you are now.  Let them have a little pride in your accomplishments.  It’s a gracious way to say thanks.

Mistake:  Not telling me how you’re doing. I’m able to help kids create a list of colleges they’d fit into because older kids let me know about how their schools are, what’s good and bad about them, whether they made a good choice.  Knowing how you’re doing helps me to help high school kids.  So if we’ve worked together, please do keep in touch.  Sometimes kids need to or want to change schools.  Let me know why you’re changing.

To those of you in college now and to those of you who’ve graduated recently or long ago: what are some of YOUR college mistakes? I’d love to help others avoid them, so add a comment to this blog and let me know.

Wendy Segal

Just a Few More Words Before You Go Off To College

Congratulations!  You’ve made it all the way through high school.  You applied to many colleges (or just your favorite), got into at least one, and are headed off to college at the end of August.

Here’s my best advice for you to get ready for the big move:

1.  GET A SHOT!  I can’t say it loudly enough.  Get a meningitis shot.  The old ones lasted 5 years.  They now have vaccines that last 10 years.  If you’re not sure if you’ve had one, ask your doctor – or just get another one.  Hardly anyone gets meningitis, but it’s often fatal if you do.  Why take a chance?  One girl did — read about it here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20519953/

Please, please don’t put it off.  Make an appointment now because they sometimes run out of vaccine.

2.  Start saving Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons.  They come in the mail.  Save them.  The store doesn’t mind your using expired coupons.  Bed, Bath, and Beyond has a good selection of college stuff starting early in August.  Marsha, a wise friend of mine, gave me this advice and she was right:  Buy everything you think you might possibly need, but don’t open it until you get to college.  If you don’t need it in your particular dorm room, your parents can always take it back to the store and return it if they keep the receipt. 

3.  Start making a backpack of all the stuff you’ll need the minute you arrive at college:

• duct tape
• masking tape
• extension cords (at least one with surge protector)
• hammer
• screw driver (flat and phillips)
• flash light
• sharpie marker (there will be something you forgot to label or that your roommate has the exact same one of)
• small notepad and pen

There’s lots more stuff you will need, but these are things you might need right away to put your room in order and will certainly get lost if you pack them with the other junk.

4.  Get a new laptop.  If yours is more than 4 or 5 years old, you might want a new one.  You probably won’t need a printer (they’re handy but take up precious desktop room and every school has convenient places to print out papers), but you will need a laptop to bring to class, to submit assignments, and to drag to the library or to a friend’s dorm room for a group project.

5.  Ask what cell phone carrier works best at your school.  I know from my son that if you don’t have Verizon at Cornell, you don’t have reception.  If you know someone at the school you’ll be going to, ask about who’s got the best reception.  If you don’t know anyone there, find a facebook group of last year’s freshmen and ask them.  While you’re at it, try to get your parents to pay for unlimited text messages.  You’ll need it!

6.  Expect to feel out of place for a little while.  I have to confess — I cried through most of my freshman year.  I didn’t want to live home again, I just wanted my life the way it was back in high school with all my comfortable friends, with clean clothes that appeared regularly in my room, with free food in the fridge.  I thought everyone else was having a blast, and I was the only one feeling sad, lonely, uncomfortable, sick of hearing my roommate’s music.  I saw everyone’s happy faces going to class and I felt even more alone.  Little did I know that many of them were smiling on the outside and feeling exactly the same as I did on the inside.  I think if I knew that – and if I knew then how certainly this feeling would pass by springtime – I wouldn’t have felt quite so confused.  So I’m telling you now:  It’s not only okay to feel disassociated your first few months at college, it’s normal.  Really. 

I hope I haven’t made you too nervous.  I just want you to be as prepared as you can be.  Keep in touch with your old friends, your family — and me!

Wendy Segal